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Anger? When does it create a problem?
Anger is a very strong emotion. We sometimes share anger to show what we are experiencing in the moment, how hurt we are, and the degree to which we are flustered by our experiences. When we are open to examining our anger, we can begin to positively enter self-exploring and discovery. However, anger becomes more a problem when we chose to create barriers that block us from open and genuine communication.
Among a few of the internal defenses that might be used to express anger are: (1) Nagging, (2) Excessive accusations, (3) Gossiping, (4) Blaming, (5) Justifying and (6) Displaying a passive role to avoid accepting responsibility for the anger.
Anger can be expressed both directly or indirectly to intentionally hurt others. Normally guilt, anxiety, hurt and insecurities can be accompanied by anger. When experiencing these distinct range of emotions, we generally look at the intensity of the anger and thereby, react to the pressure. A healthier way of adjusting to our anger may be to say “I am feeling overwhelmed or may be anxious” rather than acting out verbally or physically.
Many cognitive psychologists have suggested that anger can be accounted for by how we process events and reflect on them personally. “I am angry because of the way I perceive or see things occurring” is one thought pattern that might explain what we are experiencing in a given situation. The goal of cognitive therapy is to assist with tackling the faulty belief system we have, assumed interpretations reflecting the world around us, and how to ultimately reach a point of healthier reflective thinking. In identifying anger, it is not only significant to analyze what we are going through, but the degree to which we are affecting others. Sometimes a person does not experience issues from our vantage point and this needs to be better understood and sorted out so that we can reach a successful chain of interaction.
Professional counselors have suggested a few tactics to appropriately manage anger. They may be as follow:
- Separating ourselves from situations that we are faced with
- Relaxing and taking deep breaths
- Taking silent pauses in speech, along with pauses that focus on the anxiety provoking situation
- Reflective thinking, and
- Visual imagery.
In addition to these coping strategies, spiritual and emotional support are two critical attributes that contribute to the longevity of positive encounters. When anger is too harsh to unravel and “let go”, it is recommended for one to seek out guidance from a trained professional who can really hear the issue at hand and put them into perspective for you.
Veterinarian Turns Family Therapist to Practice at Online Portal
Jan was a small animal veterinarian until illness ended this career. After recovering she went back to school and became a marital and family therapist and registered psychologist. Now she opens her online clinic at ProvenTherapy.com.
PRESS RELEASE: Alberta – April 8, 2016 – PRLog — She did not see this as much of a jump as she realized she liked talking to people as much as she liked the animals. Because of her many years of making a diagnosis on an animal that couldn’t talk to her, Jan is very intuitive, which has been very helpful in her work with clients. Her first job was with Alberta Health Services where she spent six years working with children and adolescents and their families. She then became the clinical head of the crisis team. Jan then worked with a non-profit Christian counselling ministry where she worked with individuals, couples and families.
Jan finds that online therapy is a way to bring service to a wider group who prefer not to go to a therapist’s office. She works hard to build the same rapport with the client that she creates in person. Jan works collaboratively with the client to have them realize that they have many strengths and resources that have always been present but may have been unused for a while. Jan also believes that no one is hopeless.
Her particular interest is trauma arising from the family of origin. Jan believes that trauma is held in the body and interferes with life moving forward smoothly and causing problems with relationships and work. Jan teaches relaxation and coping skills before any trauma work is done.
She uses mainly cognitive behavioural therapy and dialectical behaviour therapy, which she hopes to practice through the premier online counseling portal https://www.proventherapy.com. What Jan’s goal for the client is for the client to realize that the critical voice in their head comes from a difficult childhood and has no place in adulthood. Jan works collaboratively with the client to address the anxiety and depression which usually arise in such situations. This baggage from childhood can affect parenting and often goes with the client as baggage in the marriage.
Positive thinking and taking action are two of the most important factors associated with better living, great health and achievement. Focus more on creative planning, happiness and success and you will invite people who will enjoy being around you and genuinely want to assist you, because they are connecting with the energy that positive thinking creates deep within us.
The first step in understanding how to gain stronger outcomes from positive thinking is to examine our basic attitudes we have toward life. In certain instances, do we find ourselves filling the “glass” only half up or full. Positive thinking is something that we must internalize deep within ourselves and make a decision to reach success.
Positive thinking takes more than merely speaking the words, but to know them enough to put into action. The power of buying into what we think and putting the foot work into making the necessary changes for healthy living goes a long way in terms of creating the most out of our relationships with both self and others.
Inner work is required to reach a level of developing a mature and creative style of processing positive emotions and behaviors. There are moments when it helps to visualize what we are experiencing in the moment- to examine our self-talk messages: “I feel angry and therefore, I react in anger” rather than realizing deeper layers of anger and how they hinder us from remaining focused on many of our successes.
Researchers have addressed the importance of offering positive affirmation to encourage you towards great success. Affirmations are positive self-statements that we give ourselves regarding the type of goals, plans we have. What we continue to tell ourselves and reflect on psychologically or verbally becomes engraved on the subconscious mind. This alters the way individuals see things, their habits, attitudes and behaviors.
The best thing about developing positive thoughts is that it can manifest into great things. Affirmation is one way to get the ball rolling and gearing you in the right direction.
If you need additional assistance, feel free to talk more with a qualified therapist. Many clients with deeper issues pertaining to poor lifestyle dynamics respond a great deal to negative self-talk or evaluation which only helps to reinforce negative responses to outside influences. From clinical experiences, negative ideas and attitudes perpetuate not only escalating tension, however, continue fights between clients in group settings. One’s social skills may be heavily impacted by how they see changes going on in their environment. In order to establish success, you have to make a decision to be happy and process stronger resolutions.