Marriage Counseling – Handling Emotional Affair
The breakup of a marriage cannot be a sudden occurrence. It is usually a gradual buildup of events. When these issues are ignored, regardless of how little you may suppose they are, they eventually become massive enough to cause a total breakdown of a once intimate relationship.
Our concern today is emotional affair with a person of the opposite sex other than your spouse. This problem is easily ignored by many simply because it does not involve any physical act of cheating. Research that has been carried out has shown that about half of these affairs end up in physical intimacy.
We need to start from the beginning by asking this question. What do we mean by emotional affair? An emotional affair is an affair that excludes physical intimacy but includes emotional intimacy.
From the definition above, we would see that this involves committing a lot of emotional energy into a relationship other than your marriage. The simple fact that a person involved in this sees nothing wrong in it is in itself a big problem. This thinking is usually a proof that the individual is in denial.
When people have had marriage counseling and have succeeded in dealing with the affair, you would find out that there were things they weren’t truthful about. There was in most cases a guilty feeling in their hearts. It a lot of times was a feeling that they were being unfaithful to their spouses. This feeling of guilt could actually reveal itself in the form of unnecessary anger whenever the issue of the affair is mentioned.
A marriage can be easily damaged by an affair such as this. To avoid complications, it should be nipped at the bud.
Another question we would ask is this. What can push an individual into this kind of affair?
A lot of times, the absence of communication between spouses could easily result in something like this. It mostly starts when an outsider starts giving much attention to a spouse who doesn’t receive that attention at home.
One thing that each party in a marriage needs is emotional companionship. If this is not provided in a marriage union, the temptation to seek this satisfaction outside can arise. What makes it very easy to happen is that it usually starts as an innocent platonic friendship.
How can this be stopped?
it’s commonly said that to be forewarned is to be forearmed. If we are committed to our marriage union, we would be willing to ensure it works. It’s very important that couples communicate very deeply. If a couple does not communicate well, they are set to split up.
If a couple do not have an issue with their communication, it would basically be unheard of for their emotional needs not to be satisfied within the marriage. We are talking about actual communication, not just speaking. When there is real communication, everything can be brought up and treated.
There’s one solution I know that may assist keep couples away from emotional affairs. Don’t stop bringing up issues about your spouse. Let the great personality of your partner be the topic to discuss with that friend of the opposite sex who is always “there”.
This is a wonderful tool for totally removing the beginning of any level intimacy. Do not forget that maintaining very real communication is of the utmost importance to your marriage.