We carry our past with us, to wit, the primitive and inferior man with his desires and emotions, and it is only with an enormous effort that we can detach ourselves from this burden. If it comes to a neurosis, we invariably have to deal with a considerably intensified shadow. And if such a person wants to be cured it is necessary to find a way in which his conscious personality and his shadow can live together. ~ Carl Jung
Yesterday someone wrote a post on Why Positive Thinking Won’t Guarantee You Positive Results and just like they promised, today they go deeper into the topic and talk about the 7 things you should do to make positive thinking effective.
Whenever we get angry or irritated because of something people say or do to us it is so because we project our own shadows and our own darkness on to them.
Next time something negative happens and next time you come in contact with somebody you don’t quite like or maybe hate, ask yourself these questions: What is it about this person, situation that is triggering me? What is it about them that I haven’t yet accepted in me? Do I have some hidden open wounds that they touched?
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. ~Carl Jung
2. Non Resistance
If you feel the presence of anger in your life, let it be there, allow yourself to feel its presence but don’t allow it to define you, don’t allow you to become you!
Say to yourself: There is anger, frustration, negativity, etc. in me and I allow it to be there without making it my own. There is anger in me but I am not the anger, I am the observer of this anger.
Nonresistance is the key to the greatest power in the universe. ~Eckhart Tolle
Accept yourself for who you are and for who you are not. Accept yourself both in the presence of positivity, progress and happiness and their absence. Accept the idea that what you dislike the most in others might be something hidden deep down within yourself, in your unconscious, something you haven’t accepted in yourself.
The difference between my darkness and your darkness is that I can look at my own badness in the face and accept its existence while you are busy covering your mirror with a white linen sheet. ~C. JoyBell C.
Forgive yourself for always believing that the enemy was outside yourself and never within you. Forgive yourself for projecting your own shadows on to the world and making it look cold, scary and frightening.
We have met the enemy and he is us. ~Pogo
5. Love and compassion
We have to learn to love and accept not only the good, bright side of us but also our dark side. Only by loving and accepting our own darkness without judging and oppressing it, we will help heal it.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. ~Martin Luther King Jr.
Visualization is such a powerful tool that you can use to visualize the person you want to become, the life you want to live and the impact you want to have in the world.
The power of imagination is incredible. Often we see athletes achieving unbelievable results and wonder how they did it. One of the tools they use is visualization or mental imagery… they made the choice to create their destinies and visualized their achievements before they ultimately succeeded. ~George Kohlrieser
7. Detachment From the Outcome
Whether things will happen the way you want them to happen or not, should not matter to you that much. You now know that your happiness and your well being is not dependent on how things are on the outside but rather how things are on the inside and if you take good care of yourself and if you heal your darkness, you whole life will be healed and light will always shine on you and through you.
Detach yourself from the opinions of others; from the habit of judging or controlling others; from the past; from the need to be right and to win; from an obsession with material things. Follow your passion in life, but detach from the outcome and allow the universe to handle the details. ~Dr. Wayne Dyer
Positive thinking alone does not work and only by facing our own darkness, by accepting and loving our own shadows we will be able to get the positive results from thinking all those positive thoughts.
What are your thoughts on this? Share your insights by commenting bellow or by posting your lovely comment on the PurposeFairy Facebook Page.
Press Release published in PRLog regarding the release of the upgraded site and launching new features.
The new upgraded site with sophisticated chat application received huge applause from the service users as well as professional counselors. The new site which launched on Thursday, 9th May claimed to have more facilities than its competitors.
ProvenTherapy.com has been there on the cyber world for many years, providing ‘healing touch to troubled hearts and souls’ according to its previous business slogan. Now it has 80 approved ProvenTherapists practising 24X7 and the number is growing.
Last week the virtual clinic launched its new website along with highly sophisticated chat application for use by service users as well as Therapists. The new chat application reported to have many new features:
* Flash based live chat application with high speed and real time simulation
* Live text chat and live voice chat with excellent audio clarity
* Application run from dedicated server to ensure maximum bandwidth support
* Interactive whiteboard to make therapeutic communication effective and powerful
* Online access to verbatim (full counseling script) for Therapists and Clients any time
* Clients are offered two fee models – fee per session, and fee per minute
* Peer support facility for Therapists
* Notes keeping facility for Therapists
* Clients forum for sharing issues anonymously for Therapists to respond
The premier online counseling and psychotherapy service has changed its business tag line to ‘online counseling for life’s journey’ with the aim of adding positive color to its healing mission.
Online Counseling for Life’s Journey…
- Flash based live chat application with high speed and real time simulation
- Live text chat and live voice chat with excellent audio clarity
- Application run from dedicated server to ensure maximum bandwidth support
- Interactive whiteboard to make therapeutic communication effective and powerful
- Online access to verbatim (full counseling script) for Therapists and Clients any time
- Clients are offered two fee models – fee per session, and fee per minute
- Peer support facility for Therapists
- Notes keeping facility for Therapists
- Clients forum for sharing issues anonymously for Therapists to respond
The new site and chat application is expected to deliver the best facilities in terms of performance, efficacy, and security. The full site and interactive application are channelled through SSL encryption for maximum security of data.
The new site offers the first 5 minutes of the first session free for clients.
Here’s the first peek of the upgraded site…
Some of the new features include:
- Fast and bug-free chat application
- Integrated audio chat
- Improved session history
- Per minute and per session payment system
- Upgraded and simplified payment gateway
- Improved audio quality
- Telephone call widgets are something of the past
- Improved ranking system for Therapists
- First five minutes chat is free for the first session
- User-friendly pagination
- Notes and white board facilities integrated to chat window
- Improved security features
Better Chat System… New Payment System… Better Environment
The major changes are the following:
New Chat Application with the following features:
Chat with audio facility (yes, we are stopping telephone facility which is complex in many ways at the moment, and is very expensive for us. So, the chat will have audio facility that could substitute telephone)
- Whiteboard plug-in
- Notes and chat side by side (therapist can take notes, scribble down further questions that could be asked as the session progresses, etc.)
- Access mails, check accounts/payments, etc. right from the Messenger
- Facility to review full chat sessions (verbatim history)
Elimination/Blocking of Non-Serious Clients
This has been a serious issue until now which we are hoping to avoid by introducing the following:
- Client has option to choose from per minute session or per hour session
- Client can chat ONLY after purchasing minutes or purchasing an hour session
- If client chooses per minute session, the first five minutes will be free; means, only the minutes after the first five minutes will be counted for payment
New Payment System
We are very anxious to see ProvenTherapists getting paid without delay. We are stopping our business with eSellerate and are hoping to do business with a better service where our therapists don’t need to wait for receiving their first payment. eSellerate has a waiting period of two months and they have a minimum balance condition of $100. We are in the process of negotiating with eSellerate to release all outstanding payments to our therapists, irrespective of minimum balance and waiting time. This will be done before 8th May by which time we will, hopefully, have a better payment system in place. We are hoping to deposit money into our therapists’ local banks directly by ourselves in order to avoid long waiting, minimum balance conditions, etc.
Rodica Mihalis, a professionally qualified Counselor, is the latest addition to the ProvenTherapists team to extend healing touch to troubled hearts and souls through person-centered Rogerian methods.
PRLog (Press Release) – Feb. 25, 2013 – Originally from Eastern Europe, Rodica holds a M.S. in Counseling and Clinical Psychology from Chestnut Hill College in Philadelphia, joined the ProvenTherapists team recently.
The focus of her practice is on relationships, improving couple communication, loss and grief and parental support. For ten years she worked in the wellness industry, specializing in stress management using natural methods such as breathing exercises, positive visualizations and aromatherapy.
Rodica’s educational background and life experiences make her an empathetic counselor who understands the complexities of the human nature. She will listen, evaluate the special needs of clients and offer her professional suggestions so they may achieve desired goals.
Approved ProvenTherapist and Clinical Psychologist
It is usually our own inhibitions; insecurities and a pre conceived image of the self which makes us feel shy, leading to insecurity. A weakness or fear which sets in a feeling of imperfection, causing a dint to the ego or self-image results in insecurity. This self- image makes us vulnerable and we resist or shy away from other situations and people alike. People, especially the youth, go through this phase of insecurity when their ideal- self image clashes with the real-life self or when they experience disappointment too often and too recurring for them to overcome the negative situation. This youth withdraws into a shell and becomes shy or some tend to bury the disappointment with a show of aggression and bullying.
Most of the times, it is either the emotional self or the physical self which causes insecurity. Insecurity pulls down our confidence and self esteem takes a beating. Finding out what the core issue is which is causing the insecurity; it could be physical appearance like complexion, voice or lack of enough money, whatever may be the reason, the beginning to recovery will only come if we pin point the reason which brings in the insecure feeling. Insecurity also creeps in if the person is too set or rigid, inflexible with the way he/she wants to be, look or behave. In real life though, not all goes as planned and the obstinate person invariably faces disappointment and it becomes incredibly difficult to accept oneself; to face reality. Getting rid of this insecurity is many times difficult because acknowledgment comes after a very long time and insecurity being such a personal thing to each one of us; it is tougher to get rid of it. Most of us usually succumb to it, only the brave acknowledge it and seek ways and means to combat insecurity and hope for a free secure life.
Feeling shy about a new place, person or a new event is very natural reaction and it cannot be attributed to inherent shyness. Even a boisterous over confident person senses ‘butterflies in the stomach’ sensation before embarking on anything new. Insecurity stemming out of physical attributes results in shyness and low confidence level with regards to self-image, this batters the emotional levels also to a certain degree, but insecurity which has emotional reasons as it’s trigger results in emotional problems, low self esteem, depression and the like. The second needs to be addressed with a sense of urgency. Self image needs a definite mind shift and a renewed perspective of the self.
To lead a better holistically happy life, the sooner these insecurities are gotten rid of the better for us. Let us look at a few things that can be done differently to b able to overcome insecurity, it is easier said than done, but is imperative if one is determined to make the change:
Acceptance is the first step, learn to accept and like yourself the way you are. You are your own comparison and you are your own parameter. Comparing with anyone else will be futile because no two individuals are made the same way! So how can they behave or be the same? Start by accepting who you are, appreciate yourself and then you will start seeing where improvements can be made. If the beginning itself is rejection and criticism of the self then one can only see faults and imperfections and correcting so much will be an uphill task.
Stop being judgmental and critical about yourself; it only attributes to pulling down the self esteem and seeps in more insecurity. Write one good thing about yourself every day, morning and evening. Take time to look at yourself and see the good in you and why you are special and how you can make these your strengths to overcome your weaknesses.
Every small achievement of yours must first be recognized by you and you deserve a treat for every milestone crossed. Do not listen to what others have to say about you, start listening to yourself. Strictly avoid discouraging company and friends who make you feel bad or low about yourself. Seek out new friends who can teach a few good things without putting you down or being judgmental about you.
The world is a big place and we all have people who find us worthy. It is just when we start feeling worthy about ourselves is when the other person also begins to look at you with an appreciative eye. This in itself is a morale boost and uplifts the confidence levels. Change the image you have of yourself and the world automatically looks at you the way you look at yourself.
This is just the beginning, stick to the task and you are on your way to overcoming insecurity and take on new challenges in life.
A GAME CHANGER
Pat Sumlin, LMFT (DBT Certified Therapist and Clinical Trainer)
DBT is a jump start to a successful way of life. Become a student, open to learning skill building tools that will have an enduring positive impact. Become deliberate and intentional in how you approach everyday challenges. It’s about doing the work necessary to evolve, evaluate situations, elevate oneself and others, feel energized and emancipated, no longer a prisoner to the past. Instead of simply focusing on the headlines of one’s life, it’s about looking at the fine print. The story behind the story and connecting the dots.
The elements of acceptance, change, self-care, growth and healing are built into the over 70 skill building concepts, with the 4 modules; Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation and Interpersonal Effectiveness. Learning DBT is about doing the daily practices necessary to navigate successfully in relationships and avoid being on auto-pilot. DBT offers a fingerprint that uniquely can belong to anyone who learns the skill building tools. Think of it as “Renewal of the Mind.” An active approach to problem solving and decreasing life stressors. DBT is faith and hope in action (energy/effort) that reinstates the natural organizing and communicative functions of emotions. It’s about going from survival to success to significance.
Clients who have successfully learned DBT, did so because they recognized they needed the skills to cope more effectively with one or more of the following issues affecting them personally or within the circumstances in their family:
Abusive Relationships, Academic Struggles, Acculturation, Active Passivity, ADD/ADHD, Adoption, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Alcohol Addiction, Aging, Ambivalence, Anger Management, Anxiety Disorders, Apparent Competence, Asperger’s Syndrome, Bereavement, Betrayal, Binge Eating, Bipolar, Blended Families, Breaking Negative Habits, Body Image, BPD, Bullying, Career Concerns, Caregivers, Celiac Disease, Chronic Pain/Fatigue, Chronic Worry, COPD, Co-dependency, Cognitive Impairments, Communication Breakdown, Confidence Building, Confusion, Court-Ordered Parenting Plan, Co-worker Conflict, Criminal Behavior, Custody Issues, Dating, Death/Dying, Depression, Dermatillomania, Disabilities, Dishonesty, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Drug Addiction, Dual Diagnosis, Dysthymia, Dyslexia, Eating Disorders, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Dysregulation, Empowerment, Emptiness, Empty Nest, Envy, Expressive Language Disorder, Family Conflict, Family of Origin Abuse, Fibromyalgia, Fight/Flight/Freeze, Financial Problems, Gambling Addiction, Gender Identity, Generalized Anxiety, Goal Setting, Gossip, Grief/Loss, Guilt, Hair Loss, Hearing Impairment, HIV+/AIDS, Hoarding, Hopelessness, IBS, Impostor Syndrome, Impulsivity, Inappropriate Social Skills, Indifference, In-laws, Infertility, Infidelity, Inhibited Grieving, Internalized Oppression, Insecurity, Internet Addiction, Insecurity, Invalidation, Isolation, Jealousy, Kleptomania, LGBTQ Issues, Lack of Motivation, Legal Issues, Life Transitions, Lifestyle Choices, Loneliness, Marriage Counseling, Medical Issues, Menopause, Migraines, Military Families,
Mindfulness, Miscarriage, Multiple Sclerosis, Neglect, OCD, Orthorexia, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Parenting Disputes, Past Treatment Failures, Pathological Lying, Perfectionism, Personal Growth, Personality Disorders, Physical Abuse, PMDD, Pornography, Post-Partum Depression, Pregnancy, Pre-marital Counseling, Procrastination, Psoriasis, PTSD, Re-building Trust, Relationship Reconciliation, Rejection, Retirement Adjustment, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Schizophrenia, Self-Care, Self-Esteem, Self-Injurious Behavior, Sensory Processing Disorder, Sex Addiction, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Orientation, Sleep Disorders, Smoking Cessation, Social Anxiety, Special Needs Child, STD’s, Step-Parenting, Stuttering, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Survivor, Terminal Illness, Trauma, Trichotillomania, Undeveloped Social Skills, Unrelenting Crisis, Victim of Crime, Visual Impairment, Verbal Abuse, Veterans Re-adjustment, Weight Management, Work/Life Balance, Work Performance, Workplace Harassment.
DBT is recognized as an effective, evidence based highly practical and relevant treatment approach. Achieving a working understanding of the DBT skills disrupts the seesaw of hope and despair. If you’re like most people who are suffering, the answer is a resounding, “Yes” to learning DBT because it has universal appeal, many useful applications such as re-establishing stability, relating better to others, and functioning interdependently. DBT is first-aid for emotional pain. Transform your life today.
Suicidal thoughts and self harming behavior with negative self image and self condemnation need to be tackled… Dialectical Behavior Therapy has answer! Thanks to Pat Sumlin, LMFT, a dedicated ProvenTherapist and DBT expert, for her hard work to initiate this great service at ProvenTherapy.com.
DBT promotes self-efficacy, purpose, meaning and personal power. Gain valuable skills in order to take a bold new approach to living. Learning skills can help you to become healthier and happier. Start on the journey towards an interpersonal lifestyle that works for you vs. against you.
DBT has powerful therapeutic techniques like JADE, RUI, Fight-Flight-Freeze, to name a few. Learning DBT methods will improve confidence and strengthen your ego. Through DBT you will be able to transform your hopelessness into definite HOPE!
At the DBT sessions your Therapist will take you through the practical skills, compiled into 4 modules;
- Distress Tolerance
- Emotion Regulation
- Interpersonal Effectiveness
At ProvenTherapy.com the Dialectical Behavior Therapy Department is headed by Pat Sumlin, LMFT, an experienced DBT Certified Therapist and Clinical Trainer. Visit this page to read more about DBT and therapy process at ProvenTherapy.com.
Here’s an article by Pat on DBT
She is Dr. Sharanya Dinesh now!
One of the experienced ProvenTherapists Sharanya Dinesh gained her Doctoral degree recently, a huge milestone to achieve, a real reward for her hard work and dedication!
Dr. Dinesh did her doctoral thesis in clinical psychology titled Self Awareness in Present Day Adolescents.
The research was done in the metro schools and one Govt school for the poor/under privileged. The sample consisted of 450-500 students and the research inquiry was on emotional, professional, social, financial, spiritual awareness for students from grade 10 to grade 12.
Dr. Sharanya is providing online counseling and psychotherapy through proventherapy.com and also giving face to face therapeutic sessions at her own clinic in India. She is a fan of Khalil Gibran and has been incorporated Gibran’s meditative ideas into her therapy.
Visit Dr. Sharanya Dinesh’s profile page: https://www.proventherapy.com/Sharanya-178.html