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In our marriages today, we seem to find that we have a lot of problems and distractions. We have some very obvious things which we all know can breakup a marriage. We can unanimously put infidelity at the top of this list. It is however interesting to note that infidelity begins as a gradual process. I therefore want to look at its starting point.
No one just stands up and goes to be unfaithful to their spouse. You would normally discover that one thing grows into another prior to graduating to the main act. We can therefore agree that it is important that we understand this fully. When we find out the root cause, we can solves the problem from there.
One thing that’s very damaging to a marriage is emotional affairs. emotional affairs appear harmless and innocent. Folks assume they are really harmless because it’s emotional intimacy without a matching physical intimacy. Having this type of relationship with someone else when you are married is just getting yourself ready for a fall because in many cases, this always leads to an affair. When this happens, we start talking about infidelity and people would wonder how this could have happened.
Begin to pay careful attention to your relationship with that co-worker of the opposite gender with whom you generally find yourself spending your time. Don’t blow this off with the excuse that only thing you do is converse, call, or text. You have to be true to yourself and examine what you talk about in your mind. Just to be sure, I would ask you a simple question. Would you be comfortable if your spouse suddenly comes in on your discussion with that colleague or stumbles on the text messages you exchange? If in your heart you know that you would not want your spouse anywhere near your conversations or messages then you are probably on the wrong path.
If you give it some thought, you would see that extramarital affairs mostly starts with someone giving a lot of attention to another. The person feels intimate or appreciated by someone outside their partner. This is simply how it all begins and this is what we refer to as emotional affair. A greater understanding of the perils of emotional affairs would result in more folks avoiding it and this would subsequently result in a major reduction in instances of extramarital affairs.
Instead of looking for answers to your marriage challenges outside of your marriage, try to solve them. Because of your determination to handle your marriage internally, you would probably not be talking about your marital challenges with just anybody.
There’s a need for lot’s of care to be taken as you try to repair your marriage. Some folks have eventually fallen victim of emotional affair and then on to extramarital affairs as they were attempting to repair their marriage.
There are instances of folks who started talking to someone about their marital challenges simply for them to start getting intimate with the individual. There are lot’s of ways that emotional affairs can begin. There’s a need for you to be really on the lookout so you don’t fall prey.
When there’s a need to talk to someone, your best option is consulting a certified marriage therapist. With a marriage therapist, you understand you’re in qualified hands and can receive the assistance you require.
Regardless of how it comes, don’t let yourself be trapped in an emotional affair. I’m certain you understand the problems that can arise from emotional affairs.
The breakup of a marriage cannot be a sudden occurrence. It is usually a gradual buildup of events. When these issues are ignored, regardless of how little you may suppose they are, they eventually become massive enough to cause a total breakdown of a once intimate relationship.
Our concern today is emotional affair with a person of the opposite sex other than your spouse. This problem is easily ignored by many simply because it does not involve any physical act of cheating. Research that has been carried out has shown that about half of these affairs end up in physical intimacy.
We need to start from the beginning by asking this question. What do we mean by emotional affair? An emotional affair is an affair that excludes physical intimacy but includes emotional intimacy.
From the definition above, we would see that this involves committing a lot of emotional energy into a relationship other than your marriage. The simple fact that a person involved in this sees nothing wrong in it is in itself a big problem. This thinking is usually a proof that the individual is in denial.
When people have had marriage counseling and have succeeded in dealing with the affair, you would find out that there were things they weren’t truthful about. There was in most cases a guilty feeling in their hearts. It a lot of times was a feeling that they were being unfaithful to their spouses. This feeling of guilt could actually reveal itself in the form of unnecessary anger whenever the issue of the affair is mentioned.
A marriage can be easily damaged by an affair such as this. To avoid complications, it should be nipped at the bud.
Another question we would ask is this. What can push an individual into this kind of affair?
A lot of times, the absence of communication between spouses could easily result in something like this. It mostly starts when an outsider starts giving much attention to a spouse who doesn’t receive that attention at home.
One thing that each party in a marriage needs is emotional companionship. If this is not provided in a marriage union, the temptation to seek this satisfaction outside can arise. What makes it very easy to happen is that it usually starts as an innocent platonic friendship.
How can this be stopped?
it’s commonly said that to be forewarned is to be forearmed. If we are committed to our marriage union, we would be willing to ensure it works. It’s very important that couples communicate very deeply. If a couple does not communicate well, they are set to split up.
If a couple do not have an issue with their communication, it would basically be unheard of for their emotional needs not to be satisfied within the marriage. We are talking about actual communication, not just speaking. When there is real communication, everything can be brought up and treated.
There’s one solution I know that may assist keep couples away from emotional affairs. Don’t stop bringing up issues about your spouse. Let the great personality of your partner be the topic to discuss with that friend of the opposite sex who is always “there”.
This is a wonderful tool for totally removing the beginning of any level intimacy. Do not forget that maintaining very real communication is of the utmost importance to your marriage.